Old
by just a rambling romantic
Summary: Ace calls Smoker the "o" word. Smoker doesn't take it very well. SmoAce
1. In which Smoker is a downer

_NOTE: I will say that this has not been Beta'd. And therefore there are some things I am unhappy with. Please try to keep in mind that it's been awhile since I've last written something. _

_This might as well be an AU, because I haven't read through the Alabasta arc yet… And Smoker and Ace would never be a couple even if they were forced into it. And really, I couldn't resist putting Koby into this mess._

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The mess hall was abuzz with conversation. Dinner was especially nice that evening. Rumors about Tashigi sweet-talking the head cook into making the Captain's favorite dishes floated around. One of the dishwashing boys confirmed it.

"You sure, kid?" A grizzled marine asked through a mouthful of clam chowder.

"I heard it myself," the boy puffed out his chest proudly.

"I just hope it works," a well-shaven marine commented, wiping his mouth with a napkin, "If Captain ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."

"Why's Captain Smoker unhappy?" A young voice piped up. The speaker was immediately hushed. The grizzled marine whispered, "Not so loud, lad. You have a death wish?" he glanced down the table at the man in question.

Smoker had hardly touched his food. _Old_, he thought, pushing the mashed potatoes around on his plate with a fork, _old, old, old, old. Do I really look that old?_

"You," Smoker barked. A young marine (the one who, incidentally, had piped up earlier), new to the fleet and very wary of his commanding officer's reputation jumped.

"M-me, sir?" he shot out of his seat, whipping a hand up so fast in a salute that he smacked himself in the forehead.

"Yes, you." Smoker asserted.

"Koby, sir." Tashigi whispered to him.

"Koby," Smoker addressed him. Koby was shocked. _He knows my name! _an awed part of him whispered delightedly, _I'm just a nobody and he knows _my_ name!!_

"How old do you think I look?" Smoker asked, a large plume of smoke curling up from his cigars.

Tashigi put her face in her palms. "Oh, Captain… not this _again._" Smoker ignored her.

The mess hall was deathly silent. Koby could feel a cold sweat forming on his brow.

"Uh." He said, his body becoming numb with terror. The captain's hair was pure white, a sign of old age. _But it could just be prematurely gray,_ Koby amended. It was hard to see any wrinkles on Smoker's face, but the way his brow was furrowed, it looked like he had wrinkles on his forehead.

_30? 50? _Koby guessed, _I was never that good at guessing ages…_

"Uh.." he stammered, and took a stab in the dark, "F-forty?" his voice cracked with nerves.

From the look on his fellow marine's faces, he had guessed wrong. "I-I-I-I mean, th-thirty, TWENTY!!" he back-pedaled.

"…" Smoker's face was impassive. Koby saw his life flashing in front of his eyes. _This is it, _he thought_, he's going to kill me._

"Huh." Smoker finally said, expelling a cloud of smoke. He went back to picking at his food.

There was a great, collective sigh as the marines let out the breath they had been holding. A few seconds later there was a _thud_, as Koby hit the floor, foaming at the mouth.

Minutes later Smoker excused himself, saying that he wasn't hungry.

Tashigi watched him go with concern and waited until he was out of sight before she closed and locked the mess-hall door.

"Marines!" she called as she stepped onto the table, striking a very authoritative and undeniably awesome stance. "As you have noticed, in the past few days Captain Smoker has been feeling 'down', " she emphasized with her fingers, "I believe that it is in both our own and Captain Smoker's best interests that we should land at the next port and take him out for a 'night on the town'."

The marines were flabbergasted for a moment before they roared their agreement.

"Your mission," Tashigi went on as the cheers died out, "should you choose to accept it, is to make the Captain feel as young as possible. I'm sure you all know why."

A sea of marine hats bobbed up and down, and mutterings of "yeah" and "aye", could be heard.

"Very well, then." Tashigi pushed up her glasses, "we make port in ThatOneTown, tomorrow night!"

Smoker faintly heard the roar of delight as he stepped onto the deck. The smell of brine was strong in the air and whenever Smoker licked his lips he tasted salt.

He leaned against the railing of the ship and ran a hand over his chin—he felt bristles scratch against his fingers and palm; he hadn't shaved that morning. His skin on his hands looked deathly pale when he glanced down at them. Moonlight bathed the deck, sparkling in the sea below and sapping the color out of anything it touched.

Smoker gazed up at Moon. He felt a strange kinship with it in that moment. It seemed that only a few days ago it had been in its prime, full and beautiful. Now it was waxing slowly into darkness. He, too, was at the age where his reflexes were beginning to dull; his endurance was beginning to fade; already he could feel the tell-tale stiffness in his joints when he woke up early in the morning. Standing alone beneath the dying moon, Smoker could feel himself waxing away into the dark abyss…

"Well, that's depressing." Smoker exhaled, watching the smoke rise to eclipse the moon.

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_**As an afterthought: **__I'll just go ahead and say the "Tashigi/Marines" scene after Smoker left was one of my least-favorite scenes I've ever written(And god, I am so sorry for naming the town ThatOneTown. I couldn't think of a better name). It seemed too upbeat and silly (not to mention really cliché and stupid) for what I was going for. I wanted to get across the point that Tashigi and the men really do care about Smoker's mental state of happiness. Also, that part gives me a reason to make them go to land and eventually set up some SmoAce._

_Feedback is always lovely._


	2. In which Ace is not

"That's _hilarious!"_ Portgas D. Ace whooped with laughter.

The paper lanterns Usopp had created just for this occasion threw a warm, honey-colored light over the celebrating crewmembers. At the center of attention, basking in the limelight was Usopp himself.

"Another story!" Luffy bellowed, "And more meat!!"

Encouraged by the cheers, Usopp puffed out his chest and began another long-winded story of high adventure on the sea. Ace detached himself from the group, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes.

He made his way up the stairs and through the grove of tangerine trees to climb up one of the riggings and into the crow's nest. He could faintly hear Usopp saying something about a giant goldfish below, but mostly he just heard the wind in his ears.

The moon was just overhead, huge and omniscient and majestic. Ace smiled at it, wondering how long it had watched over the dark side of the earth and commanded the tides. He didn't dwell long on the moon, though; philosophic thoughts tended to give him a headache.

There was silence on the deck. Usopp must have finished his story, Ace guessed. The calm lasted for only a few minutes before Luffy piped up.

"Do you think that Smokey-guy is okay?" Ace was surprised enough by the underlying seriousness in his voice to lean over the crow's nest and look down.

"Who cares?" the first mate and swordsman was first to answer, taking a gulp of whatever was in his captain's tankard.

"Heeeey," Luffy complained, making a face which Zoro returned, "I care."

"Why? He's a marine," that was the navigator, the voice of reason.

"Smokey's a good guy," Luffy defended, "and I like him."

"Except for when he's hunting you down and trying to capture you," the cook snorted. Ace was particularly fond of the chef. Then again, Ace was particularly fond of food. So as far as he was concerned anyone who made food, and _good_ food at that, deserved a gold star in his book. The sarcastic nature that came with the food was just a bonus.

"Luffy's got a point, though," Usopp muscled his way into the conversation, "He _did_ look a little hurt after our last encounter…"

The ship's doctor, whom Ace had a healthy respect for, decided to make himself known at this point, "Was that after he fought with Ace? I didn't notice any wounds on him."

"Come to think of it," Nami mused, "Smoker _did_ look a little down in the dumps after he fought with Ace…"

Ace was quick to pull his head back into the crow's nest before anyone could see him. A little ball of guilt squirmed unhappily under his ribcage.

"Where _is_ Ace, anyway?" Any other day, Ace would have sung high praises for the navigator, for certainly, she was one in a million, but why, oh _why_ did she have to be so damn perceptive?

After that there was a silence that lasted long enough to make Ace both nervous and curious. Cautiously he tipped his head over the side of the crow's nest; only to nearly lose it as two strong, familiar hands attached themselves on the wood and Luffy came rocketing up into the air after them.

"Aaaaaaace," Luffy frowned at him in that way that made Ace think of a time when peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were still his favorite food.

"Luuuufffyyyyy," he mimicked. His stomach, already twisted in knots, flipped when Luffy's expression stayed serious.

"You need to apologize to Smokey." Luffy said bluntly, his expression was so serious and un-Luffy-like that there was only one thing Ace could do.

He howled with laughter.

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"_I'll have the next chapter up in a couple of days" my ass. Seriously. I will no longer make those sort of promises.  
:|_

_Three-shot FTW?_

_(Thanks for being patient with me~)_


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